Quitting is a habit learned early, but so is success!
There are 3 secrets to progressing in martial arts, or any activity: Come to class, practice, and don’t quit!
It's important for parents of any age group to be encouraging, supportive, and involved in their child’s Martial Arts journey. They need to know you're there for them when needed. Plus as a parent it's important you hear the philosophies we discuss in the classes so you can help reinforce them at home. Encourage your child to practice on a regularly scheduled basis - even for just a few minutes on the day(s) they don’t have class. Maybe even have them teach you what they've learned - CONNECT WITH THEM! It’s easy to experience “burnout” - DON’T OVERREACT AND QUIT WHEN IT HAPPENS - AND IT WILL HAPPEN! The problem is children don’t have the long-term vision or self-discipline to help them push through periods of demotivation, nor can they truly comprehend the real results of their decision. Frankly, most adults haven’t developed this ability either! To avoid making quitting a habit at this age you must communicate with your instructor as soon as you feel concerns. Your instructor is now part of the community that will instill positive habits into your child, but only if you communicate with them. Together we have an opportunity to work together to help your child problem solve and see past their temporary feeling which ultimately benefits them and increases the chances of success in all future endeavors.
ATTENTION: Not everyone who begins the Martial Arts makes it to Black Belt. That’s not surprising. What is surprising is how simple it can be to ensure long-term success in our program. Below are common factors preventing success and a solution for each!
Didn’t get involved right away - prioritize training schedule and get here (illness excluded)
Didn’t make attending designated times a priority - Act is if there is no “next class” and attend today’s class otherwise literally weeks can slip by without realizing it.
Parents didn’t show involvement in their child’s development - believe it or not your child appreciates your interest plus it keeps them accountable to their effort.
Let other “things” get in the way - its okay to have other activities just make sure you are choosing each for the right reason and they do not force you to choose one or the other.
Parents didn’t realize the importance of consistency - most kids and adults do not have discipline to get back to something after “pausing” it. Once you take the first step keep that momentum going.
Their initial reason for joining lost its value - now its time to reestablish a new reason for why we need martial arts in our lives. It wont always be fun. So when its tough what is the reason you’ll stay?
Taking too much time off due to illness, injury, or vacation - set a return date and stick to it at all costs. It takes a class or two to get back into a groove, but once you do, you’re there!
One day your child may say one of the statements below. We’ve listed what they usually mean and how we solve them.
“It’s too hard”: Usually this comes from not being used to the level of physical activity and challenges the martial arts offers. Come to class anyway. Some students take longer than others to acclimate to a new routine but with enough consistency they always do.
“I’m too tired”: They might feel intimidated due to more challenging material and haven’t yet built the confidence needed to conquer those challenges. Remind them consistency creates confidence! Maybe their pre-class activity didn’t frame their mind or body properly for class (i.e. screen time, sleeping,). Have your child be mildly active for about 10 - 15 minutes before coming to the Dojo to get their body in “go” mode and their brain alert to the world around them.
“It’s not fun anymore”: Often youth expect anything active to be pure play. When that expectation is not met because the nature of the program is more challenging and requires more maturity and patience we sometimes see a tendency to give up or lose patience. For many this point is where the martial arts actually begins to strengthen your child’s character. It’s important to keep your child in a learning mode, especially during seasonal school breaks. Sometimes certain skills will be harder to conquer than others. This is where persistency rewards those who follow through. This is how self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, discipline, perseverance, and self-control is learned. Simply by showing up and working through the temporary feeling.
“I want to take a break” (there’s no such thing): This really means “I want to quit” but we don’t want to admit it to ourselves or say it aloud. Breaks come with a specified amount of time and a plan to resume. In all our years teaching we’ve never seen that be the case. If someone’s true intention was to return after a break most often they wouldn’t need the break, because what it takes to return is the same thing it takes to continue without quitting. For many non-adult martial arts students the most dangerous time of year for motivation and consistency is June through September - that’s when we see the most drop-outs who never return to training. Toward the end of the school-year kids are thinking about Summer and dreading the remaining days of school. Then comes the loose structure of Summer or sometimes the overwhelming too-jam-packed schedule of activities during summer. Getting out of a routine kills any momentum we gain. Balance and consistency are key. As we approach back-to-school time from August to September structure and responsibility increase again. It can take weeks for them to adjust. You might notice lack-of-motivation, whining, listlessness, whining, crankiness, and whining. This is normal. The solution is simple, but not always easy - just keep going. Reestablish your goals and reason for attending and stay consistent. By the time October arrives your child will be back in the routine!
Setting realistic expectations
Goals are not met overnight. Sometimes your child’s goals aren’t met until after months or years of consistent attendance to class accompanied by support from you. Be patient, encouraging, and most of all, communicate with your instructor. If you feel your expectations aren’t being met then address your concerns with us immediately. But remember, sometimes expectations don’t align with reality. Sometimes we expect things to happen faster or for someone to have a magic cure for misbehavior and bad grades - No magic cures here, sorry. Its simply consistency combined with time-proven character strengthening martial arts philosophies.
It’s normal to want to see improvement immediately but it’s not realistic. Our goal is to create lasting results through a process that takes time - you must trust the process. There is no one-time action / speech that reprograms behavior or thinking and provides magical cures to concerns overnight. Every student, no matter the age, will achieve their desired results if the following requirements are met:
…we (student, parent, instructor) begin our journey together with the right frame of mind and strive for a high standard of performance versus expecting a specific outcome. When we expect something and it doesn’t happen exactly as we envisioned our attitude can sour and performance can suffer. This is one reason why we don’t put focus on belt testing and students aren’t supposed to ask about their next test. It’s more effective to focus on the process and one day be unexpectedly presented with the opportunity to rank-up.
…parents keep their child’s training consistent year-round - we are not a seasonal activity. Progress and change is cumulative, not sudden. Every class you attend keeps adding to success.
…parents participate / get involved with the child’s training through spectating and discussions. Any concerns parents have must be addressed with your instructor. If we know, they can grow!
We will have influence over your child to some degree, but please remember we are an enhancement to your efforts as a parent, not a replacement. It takes a community to raise a child.
The tips below will help your family make the most of your child’s training experience:
Encourage at home-practice - dont push, but set a consistent minimal practice time of 10m once or twice a week at the same time during the day if possible. Our private playlist of “At-Home” martial arts classes makes it easy to practice whenever and wherever you want!
Observe their classes often - when you support their effort and motivation, they’ll try harder.
Discourage absences- consistency and commitment will be one of the best lessons your child learns.
Compliment their achievements- when you recognize their accomplishments, they are more inclined to continue accomplishing.
Help them set goals- when they have a reason to strive forward the more they will gain.